The Holder of Moe

Published: 2021/03/09

Last updated: 2021/03/09

In any city, in any country, visit any high school you can get yourself into. Enter any classroom, and look for a group of young girls chatting and laughing. If you do not see any such group, flee as fast as your legs will take you, for this Holder knows your impure heart and will not allow you to sully her realm with your broken presence.

Approach the girls and ask the youngest one to direct you to the “Holder of Moe”. If you are gentle enough to speak these words with sincerity, she will look at you with the utmost tenderness and speak to you, saying “come with me”. If she says anything else, jump through the window and flee, lest you be torn apart.

Follow her and you will find yourself led to a courtyard, even if the layout of the school would not seem to allow it. There, you will find a gate, locked, but with no apparent locking mechanism. The only way to open it is to activate the nearby rose-shaped fountain. To do so, you must confess your love to this girl in such a heartfelt manner that it causes her to burst into tears of joy, filling the fountain. Failure here will cause her to reject you and shove you in, where you will fall eternally, mired with all the pains of those who have never known love.

Should the gate open for you, pass it to find a spiral stairway leading higher than any staircase should be able to go. Climb it, taking the girl with you. You will hear a sickeningly sweet melody as you ascend. Should it cease, call out “my fate is endless!” in as bright a tone as you can manage. If it stays silent, you will be forever cursed with the most crippling diabetes imaginable and forced to wander the stairs for eternity, longing for and despising all sweet things. Should the voices resume, continue up the stairs until at last you emerge on a stage.

At this point, you will notice that the girl accompanying you has matured on the long climb up, and will now be your ideal version of perfection. On the other side of the stage, you will find an armed man with his young wife. He will respond to only one question, that being “what do They find pure?”. Ask anything else and he will brutally tear your beloved asunder and force you to watch, helpless, for all eternity.

The man will answer, telling you of Their twisted purity and all the terrible things done in the name of love, from feuds between former friends to the most horrific of rapes and the most depraved of murders. If you can survive this assault on your sanity and your hope, you must quickly shout to him “Your waifu is shit!”. While the man is stunned with outrage, take the man’s weapon and ram it through his wife’s chest, piercing her heart.

Your determination and purity proven, the man will bow and leave you with a single rose. Give this to the girl who accompanied you, and she will reveal herself to be the true Holder…as well as the Object. She will smile at you so sweetly your very heart stops, and you will lose consciousness. When you awaken, it will be in your bed, or the most recent place you slept, and nearby will be a photo of her. Stroking the picture will summon her to your side and she will grant you temporary respite…but never will you truly have her, and this fact is too much for many.

Even a pure heart has little hope against Them.

I came here to awoo at you

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